Does it legitimize Abortion if we Acknowledge the Needs of Women Who Get Them?

My response to Joe Petruzzi's objection to my recent note on abortion

Thanks for stopping by The Not So Political Protestant, a publication dedicated to correcting the course of the American Church in regard to politics and its place in the lives of Christians.

The political Christian movement has replaced the great commission with the great election and rather than fighting to win the lost they fight to elect their idols. Voting republican for many is synonymous with being a Christian and political activism is not only a considered a moral obligation for which God will hold us accountable, but also the way to advance the Kingdom of God.

The Not So Political Protestant is here to call God’s people to sanity and repentance. Christians are citizens of another world and therefore should live:

KINGDOM FIRST - COUNTRY SECOND.

I will warn you; this is going to be a long post. I’ve tried to trim it down but there is a lot to unpack, and I don’t want to rush through it.

I woke up this morning with a notification that Joe Petruzzi mentioned one of my notes in his recent podcast episode. Joe was very gracious in his comments about me and not at all attempting to demonize me. He even suggested people follow me which says a lot about his character, and I appreciate that kindness.

My original intent was to address his statements by commenting on his post, but you must be a paid subscriber to comment so I thought I would do it here.

Before we get started, let me show you the note which he is referencing so you will have some context.

I am extremely pro-life, and my heart breaks that 1500 babies a day are denied their right to life. However, my wife and I were talking the other day, and she brought up a good point.

With all the screaming of “murderer!” and sanctity of human life, what I have not heard is a discussion about what we are going to do to help the 1500 mothers who for whatever reason either cannot or do not want to have a baby. Sure they can put them up for adoption but let’s think about that.

1500 babies a day, 365 days a year comes to 547,500 babies EVERY YEAR that will be put up for adoption 😳

Do we have 547 thousand republicans who are willing to adopt?

What are we going to do when the existing orphanages are overwhelmed?

I am not saying we should leave abortion rights as they are. I am saying we need to come up with a plan for if and when they changed.

Let me first say I agree with much of what he said. I agree abortion is murder. I agree there are those who get an abortion out of selfishness, not wanting to be bothered with the burden of a baby. I also love the fact that he says the main issue is these women need to be saved. Sadly, this is not a discussion I hear very often among political Christians. So, I applaud him for bringing this up. But there is much he said which I disagree with, and I hope to lay that out here.

You Can’t Have One Without the Other

His main point of disagreement with my post is the question “what we are going to do to help the mothers who for whatever reason either cannot or do not want to have a baby” He refers to this as a “2nd victim mentality”, claiming it implies they have no choice but to get an abortion and therefore are victims. He does say several times, he does not think that is what I mean, but instead it is a flaw in the framing of my argument.

Joe says, “If we tie [adoption] to abortion it sounds like unless we have [adoption] the mom has no other choice but to get an abortion” In other words, it is fine to talk about the need for adoption, just not in the same conversation as abortion. His reasoning for this is it would imply abortion is acceptable if adoption is off the table. This is a very weak argument designed to deflect attention away from a very real problem.

First of all, when would adoption be off the table? There are 2,820 adoption agencies and 2,700 Pro-life pregnancy centers across the United States. In addition, every state has safe haven laws which allow a mother to drop her baby off at fire houses, hospitals, police stations and more without legal repercussions. The only time I can conceive of adoption not being an option is if the adoption system is so overwhelmed there is literally no room for more children. Interestingly enough, that was the main premise of my post which Joe disagrees will be an issue. More on that later.

As for the ‘it will be taken as abortion being acceptable argument’, will some use the statement we must help these women to lend credence to their pro-choice agenda? Certainly, but that does not mean we shouldn’t discuss it.

In the book of Romans Paul spends the first few chapters laying out the reality of sin. Then he makes a marked shift and begins talking about grace saying, “but we have been delivered from the law” (Romans 7:6). By Joe’s line of reasoning, Paul was in error here and should not have had a conversation about being freed from the law in the same letter he was addressing sin because some would take that to mean we are free to sin.

It could be said that Joe himself, by his reasoning, was in error when he spoke about these women’s need for salvation because some might cherry-pick his words and use salvation as justification for abortion. Maybe he should have relegated speaking of salvation to a separate episode.

Let me give you an example from my life I think might help grasp the reality of the struggle. I am bipolar, and as a result I have had times in my life where I have had fits of rage, made irrational decisions, and wanted to kill myself. I went for years doing anger management, trying to make better decisions, and using self-help and affirmative talk in attempt to cure myself. It was not until I got to the root of the problem, a bipolar diagnosis, I realized these are not mere character flaws but symptoms of an illness and began seeing improvement.

Did my diagnosis of bipolar excuse or legitimize my actions? Absolutely not! I am still responsible for those actions but now that I have acknowledged the underlying cause, I have a fighting chance of overcoming those tendencies. Such is the case with abortion. If we merely ban it and ignore the underlying causes of why women choose abortions, we are putting a band aid on a severed head. So no, you cannot separate the discussion of helping women who consider abortion from adoption.

It seems to me the reason Joe does not want to speak of abortion in the same conversation as adoption is because he wants all attention to be on the sin of those who commit murder by abortion. It is as if he feels empathizing with them and acknowledging they may face very real struggles is tantamount to approving of their actions. Because of this, he places the reasons all women get an abortion to simply not wanting to face the consequences of their actions. But in real life, it is not that simple.

Just the Facts Please

I want to redirect this to the actual intent of my note. I never said women who get abortions are victims. I never said there is ever a valid reason short of medical necessity to get an abortion. I never implied that if adoption was not an option abortion is acceptable. Joe’s worldview caused him to read those things into my post.

What I did say is if we are going to ban abortion we also must come up with a plan as to how we are going to handle the huge influx of babies who are going to be put up for adoption overwhelms the orphanages.

Joe says this will not be an issue so let’s look at that.

According to him only 3% of women have an acceptable need for abortion which includes life threatening medical issues, rape, or incest and the other 97% percent simply don’t want to “face their consequences of their actions”. I have a huge problem with this broad stroke assumption. It is a very smug attitude and shows no compassion for those women who, whether real or perceived, are scared to death and have been told abortion is their only option.

Are these women wrong in their thinking abortion is acceptable? Yes. Is it possible what they consider necessity is actually not? Yes, but they are still people who we have been called to reach for Christ and ignoring their pain while focusing on their sin will not do that.

I don’t for a minute believe Joe does not care about these women or want to see them come to saving faith, he works with several pro-life organizations that assist in abortion alternatives, but that is how it comes across. As he said about me, it is in the framing of his argument I find fault.

Joe operates on assumptions the 97% are purely selfish but I prefer to operate on facts.

Financial Issues

In a 2013 study it is reported that 40% of abortions are because of financial instability with 4% of those women being completely unemployed and having little or no income coming in. One unemployed woman with a monthly household income of a little over $1,000 stated “[It was] all financial, me not having a job, living off death benefits, dealing with my 14-year-old son. I didn't have money to buy a baby spoon.”

The cost to care for a baby today on the low end is about $9300 annually. That only leaves this woman with $225 a month for groceries, gas, housing, clothing, and food for herself and her 14-year-old son. This is a very real difficulty, not a simple selfish desire to not face her consequences.

For the sake of being conservative, let’s say 50% of these women find a way to keep the baby themselves, that leaves 229,926 babies who will most likely be placed in adoption or aborted illegally every year.

Abusive Spouse

In addition to financial issues, 3% of women stated they have an abusive spouse. Sure, they could leave their husband and keep the baby, but unless the abuser gets his rights taken away or put in prison that puts the child in danger of being abused. Even then, it is very common for abusive men to ignore court orders and continue terrorizing the woman and child. Again, a very real difficulty and while abortion is certainly not the answer, we must find a way to help women like this.

So, let’s say half of these abusive men get gloriously saved and the mother decides to keep the child, that leaves 17,244 babies who will most likely be placed in adoption or aborted illegally every year.

Alcohol and Drug Addiction

Another 6% of women stated their reasoning was because they were addicted to drugs or alcohol and didn’t want to raise a baby in that environment. Now, Joe might say, suck it up and get off drugs. While that would be great, it is easier said than done and if they do get sober, 40 to 60 percent of people in recovery relapse, so it is no guarantee.

But for the sake of argument let’s say after an abortion ban, half of these women do get sober and live wonderful lives with their child, we would still have 34,488 babies who will most likely be placed in adoption or aborted illegally every year.

Mental Illness and Adolescents

In addition to all these issues there were 12% who cited mental illness as the reason and 8% under the age of 17. Again, if half of these women decide to keep their baby, despite these struggles, that leaves us with 114,963 babies who will either be placed in adoption or aborted illegally every year.

So, with all this, using extremely conservative and outrageously hopeful numbers, we would have on average 396,621 babies a year whose mothers will either put in the foster care system or abort illegally.

To put that in perspective there are currently 391,000 children in foster care in the U.S. and only 115,353 adoptions occur annually. At that rate, in ten years there could be around 3 million orphans in the system, assuming they do not get aborted illegally. Even if we cut those numbers in half to compensate for women who fall into multiple categories we are still talking around 1 million orphans in the system in 10 years.

So yes Joe, we will have a crisis on our hands and the orphanages will be inundated with an astronomical influx of kids unless we come up with a plan to how we are going to respond.

[NOTE: Annual abortion numbers are based off of the #WeCount Report which places average daily abortions at 3,266 in the first six months of 2024

While the reason for abortion percentages stated are based off a 2013 study, they are likely to be higher today as inflation has almost doubled, mental health issues have increased 10%, intimate partner abuse has increased 42%, and 21 million Americans have a drug or alcohol addiction.]

Again, I am not saying abortion is right or that we should not ban it. I am saying we better figure this out or we will end up saving half a million babies a year only to have a quarter of a million children grow up without parents in an unstable environment.

Sticking your head in the sand does not make an issue go away.

Are These Women Ignorant?

One of Joe’s lines of argument was that acknowledging these women might have difficulties makes women out to be ignorant, as if they don’t know what they are doing. Referring to those who get an abortion Joe says, “They know they are committing murder”.

While that is somewhat true, it is not looking at the entire picture from a biblical sense because the unregenerate mind is incapable of seeing the complete truth of their decision.

“The natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised.” (1 Corinthians 2:14)

But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned. (1 Corinthians 2:14)

Knowing right from wrong in a worldly since and knowing right from wrong spiritually are two different things. As far as American law is concerned right now abortion is legal. To an unregenerate heart who does not know God, that makes it acceptable. Whether we like it or not, that is the reality.

This does not let those who get an abortion off the hook. Romans tells us all mankind is without excuse (Romans 1:20) and we will be held accountable for our sin. But until a person comes to Christ their knowledge is limited to worldly knowledge and easily swayed.

But the great hope for mankind is in God’s promise in Jeremiah 31:33 where he says, “This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, saith the Lord, I will put my laws into their hearts, and in their minds will I write them”

Salvation is available and with that comes God changing us and teaching us His truth through the Holy Spirit (John 16:13).

The Inadequacy of Crying Murder

As I said before, I do believe abortion is murder and calling it that is not wrong. However, I do think calling someone a murderer is not sufficient to bring them to a saving knowledge of Christ. Which is the mandate Christians have been given.

Should we confront their sin? Absolutely, because unless a person knows they are a sinner in need of salvation, they cannot be saved. But merely beating them over the head with their sin is not and never has been effective to bring one to saving faith.

So, what is the murder witnessing technique missing?

The best way to find that out is to look at Jesus’ way of interacting with sinners.

In the story of the adulterous woman in John chapter 8 the pharisees brought her to Jesus and told Him she was caught in an affair. They asked if they should follow the law and stone her. Jesus’ response was to ignore them. When they persisted, he responded with “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her”. Notice he did not turn to her with a condemning voice saying, “You wicked adulterer, you need to repent or you’re going to hell!”. He didn’t even speak to her at first. Instead, he brought the hypocritical Pharisees to shame by reminding them her sin is no worse than theirs.

It was not until the pharisees left Jesus said “Go and sin no more” but first he showed her compassion and grace.

Let’s look at another example. In John 4:1-26 Jesus met another adulterer at a well in Samaria. When Jesus spoke to her, the woman was amazed because the Jewish people hated the Samaritans and would not even acknowledge them. Even the disciples were surprised he spoke with her because in Jewish culture Rabbi’s did not speak to women.

It was not until Jesus told her had living water which would allow her to thirst no more if she drank and she asked how she could drink that water that it began addressing her sin.

Political Christianity makes the mistake of placing the overwhelming majority of their focus on getting in the sinner’s face with condemnation for their sin. In the case of our discussion, Joe spent the majority of his time on the “murderer” subject and then at the end spoke a few sentences about salvation.

[Side note: if you go through the gospels and pay attention to when Jesus was confrontational with people, it was not the sinners, but the religious hypocrites]

“For I was hungry, and you gave me food. I was thirsty, and you gave me drink. I was a stranger, and you welcomed me. I was naked, and you clothed me. I was sick and you visited me. I was in prison and you came to me’…‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’”

In this passage Jesus tells us when we minister to others, we are ministering to Him. Notice the words “I was in prison” which would include murderers. We need to lose this irrational fear that ministering to sinners is condoning their sin. Jesus healed sinners. He ate with sinners. He spoke kindly to sinners. Yet we think we are supposed shout at sinners with condemnation.

The amazing thing about showing compassion first is they will see Christ in us. This causes them to hunger and thirst for Him and when we explain our sin is what separates us from Him, the Holy Spirit will bring conviction and lead them to salvation.

It will not be our screams of condemnation which bring people to Christ, but the long-suffering love of Christians who are living in the world as Christ did and Christ laid down His life in order to save us while we were yet sinners (Romans 5:8)

Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance? (Romans 2:4)

The Greater Commandment

In Matthew 22 a lawyer came up to Jesus and asked what the greatest commandment is. Jesus didn’t say, thou shalt not kill as Joe references so frequently. Instead, He said, love the Lord with all your heart, mind, and soul”. Why? Because it all starts there.

You see what most political Christians don’t seem to understand is, you can address the sin, make someone feel guilty for that sin, and even create laws to stop law-abiding citizens from committing those sins, but until they have a desire for God which leads to surrender, they will still be dying and going to hell.

The Stark Reality

Now, I want address something here. Just as Joe’s assumption that after an abortion ban the 97% will suddenly decide to step up to the plate and be moms is fantasy; it is also foolish to assume preaching the gospel is going to get the entire world saved and stop abortion. Jesus Himself said the gate to salvation is small and the road is narrow and few find it (Matthew 7:14) so we cannot rightly assume all men will come to Him.

While bringing people to Christ is of supreme importance, and must be the church’s main focus, it will not completely fix the problem of abortion. We must accept the reality that the overwhelming majority of people will never come to salvation and therefore will not miraculously start doing the right thing. So yes, we should push for laws against abortion, but we should not let our passion for that mission overtake or hinder our ability to reach those women who desperately need salvation.

The Christian fight against abortion is not simply a fight for the life of a baby. It must also include a fight for the souls of the mothers who abort those babies. Anything less is unacceptable, and we will answer to God for our failure to do so. That is why we must do the hard work of not merely speaking out against abortion but compassionately caring for those who get abortions, even in the midst of their sinfulness. After all, that is what Jesus did when He died for us while we were still in our sins.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

This is why we must live KINGDOM FIRST - COUNTRY SECOND.

Lee Lumley (The Not So Political Protestant)